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  The Month My Laptop Was Crushed By A Dragon |
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Pictures News |
2007-10-01:
I had a big update planned for today. Big! Then somebody only took one hour's worth of naps instead of his usual
three or four. He actually didn't seem to adversely affected by this, but it turns out that I have become quite
dependent on my own afternoon nap so in lieu of the big update, I'll give you this fun Niklas fact: he's cute. 2007-10-02: Niklas has taken a liking to shutting doors lately. It was pretty funny today when he shut himself out of his own room. He had a "how could my master plan have gone so wrong?" look on his face. It was less funny yesterday when he shut himself inside Andrya's and my room and then parked his butt right up against the door preventing me from opening it. I'd like to think that there was nothing personal involved there, but this seems to indicate differently. I thought it would be thirteen years or so before he would be slamming doors in my face. Shows what I know. Anyway, his lust for destruction soon enough drove him to leave his post and I was able to get into the room and reassert my authority. Granted, my reassertion involved giving him a snack, but only because it was snack time. I don't negotiate with terrorists unless they have something I really, really want. Here are some new pictures of the man who will not rest until he's determined whether or not every single item in this house is something he can eat. 2007-10-09: Well, if I have an inbox full of angry grandmother emails, it must be a week since the last website update. I've got some excuses for ya. Wannahearthem? Heretheygo. We moved this week, I had a migraine one day, Niklas is teething and incredibly fussy which is exhausting, I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD. What? Oh, right, Niklas. He's enjoying the new place. There are new rooms to explore, new things to climb on (including a muy precarioso ladder on some built in shelves) and generally all kinds of new trouble to get into. His big thing lately is to open the kitchen drawer that we keep zip lock bags in and systematically remove the bags from their box one at time. This is the last time I buy a box of fifty, let me tell you. He's been to the beach three times since we've moved. He's OK with it, but it's not nearly as popular as the beach on the other side of the island where there were no waves. Waves are not popular with Niklas. Sand, though, is on his good side. We've built some pretty impressive sand structures... well, we've made some big piles of sand which Niklas then tried to eat, but still, good times. We've also been to the pool once, but that wasn't terribly popular. We've got two years for him to get used to it, though. Also, we've been to late 19th century British fort. All and all, good times. Oh yeah, you probably wanted to see these. 2007-10-11: Today was a rare day. No, I did not vacuum the floor. What, is the Queen coming of something? No, today was a four poop day the likes of which haven't been seen since Niklas was unleashing projectile poop every 35 to 45 minutes (those number might not be right, but trust me, it was a lot of poop). The first special gift from Niklas to me was delivered at the normal time which is right after his morning nap. So far, so good... relatively, anyway. I was still dealing with poop. Anyway, things started to pick up when Niklas and I were on the ferry from Hamilton back to our part o' the island (Southampton, if you're scoring at home). Niklas was standing on my lap looking over my shoulder and out the window at the water. I had my hands on his but to keep him from jumping off of my lap and running wild about the boat and A) distracting the crew with his cuteness causing the boat to run aground or B) grabbing the wheel of the ship and running the boat aground. I've seen his butt more often than I've seen my own, so I can vouch for the fact that it is generally symmetrical. This is why I was concerned to notice that the left cheek seemed to be about twice the size of its tag team partner on the left. My hopes that I had accidently diapered a stuffed animal up in his pants were dashed when the smell started to make its way out and about the boat. Luckily, the early afternoon ferry is not terribly crowded and I don't think anyone other than me noticed. Many people did notice me changing him under a tree when we got off of the ferry, but hey, if you didn't want to see a baby's poop covered butt, you should have stayed home. Note from Andrya: There is a bathroom at the ferry terminal. Also, changing a baby in public like that is probably illegal. At this point, I was confident that the day's pooping was over. Confident and stupid. Niklas woke up screaming from his afternoon nap with a third pantfull of used foodstuffs. I assume his screaming was a viking-like scream of triumph at producing a third giant poop in one day. That, or maybe he doesn't like waking up covered in his own filth. After further confidence and stupidity on my part, he capped off Bermuda Poopfest '07 with a pre-bath poop which featured him grabbing a handful of the poop and screaming some more. Truly, it was a red letter day... brown letter, I guess. 2007-10-14: Niklas went to the beach today. He was leery of the waves at first, but after a few minutes he got used to them and proceeded to have a fine time playing with sand trying to eat rocks and chunks of coral. Briefly, he was Emperor of his own island, though that was consumed by the wrath of the sea before he could declare himself his nation's Olympic representative in the 100m naked crawl. Is that not an Olympic event? Shows what I know, then. Anyway, after his failed efforts at nation building and Olympic scamming, he tried to crawl into the ocean. I suspect that he was going to extract some sort of revenge on Neptune on account of how that jerk had washed about twelve metric tons of sand into his his diaper and swimming trunks. Andrya thwarted that plan, though, so Niklas crawled around the beach and charmed the ladies instead. Here are some new pictures. There aren't any from the beach, but there are a few shots of his butt, so there's that. 2007-10-15: As evidenced by recent photos, Niklas's big thing lately has been to flee his changing area after the removal of a dirty diaper but before the requisite application of a poop/pee-free diaper. Usually, the butt-in-the-breeze locomotion is accompanied by laughing. That could be unbridled butt-in-the-breeze joy or the taunting of me by him on account of my inability to overpower a thirteen month old, I'm not sure. Either way, the diaper changing has been a challenge of really big challenge proportions lately. On the plus side, laughing, bare butted babies are pretty funny. 2007-10-21: Niklas has been a traveling man of late... well, as much of one as you can be on an island that's only 20 miles long. His recent adventures have taken him everywhere from the historic town of St. George's where we saw Bill Gates' yacht to the TCD where he learned that waiting in a slow moving line is even more exciting than it sounds. We also went for a walk today where we saw all kinds of plants neither Andrya or I could identify. Sadly, Niklas has also been playing the role of the horrible fuss lately. This is due to increase activity in both the tooth and poop production sectors. Here are some new pictures. 2007-10-23: You might be under the impression that Niklas and I do naught but goof off all day. You might even think that we let the house deteriorate into squalid conditions that require panicky last second clean ups before Andrya gets home. I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth and that we do lots of hard work during the day. Today, for example, we went into Hamilton to meet Andrya and take care of some Immigration paper work. Well, we would have except that Andrya had a meeting and had to cancel, so we went hiking at the beach. I'll have a full report of our trip tomorrow, but rest assured, it will include many action packed photos of rocks, rocks with holes in them and Niklas.In the meantime, here are some new, non-beach pictures. In other news, Niklas has been pretty chatty lately. In addition to "mama" and "dada", he's added "duck" and "kitty" (or reasonable approximations thereof) to his repetoire. He also says "hey" and "um", which I believe gives him a larger vocabulary than a very slow-witted cat and the leader of a major nation Niklas may or may not have lived in.  2007-10-24: Want to know what an afternoon of hiking with me and Niklas is like? Too bad. Here it is anyway. 2007-10-28: The last few days have been packed... with action! Last Wednesday, Niklas, Andrya and I went to the Central Bureaucracy to ensure that we will not be deported. Success! On Thursday, Niklas and I once again experienced the thrill of government in action with a trip to the post office. We also picked up a couple of new books that have proven fairly popular. On Friday, Niklas and I went to the playground by the beach, then, the beach. We hiked around a bit, too, ending up on the trail we were going to take before we did this instead. Then, on Saturday, we went to the Bermuda Zoo's Halloween festivities. Cleverly, I did not pack the camera. Andrya had her camera phone, though, and we were able to capture these images of a rampaging dragon in action:     
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