Each Day Brings Greater Messes




stomp, stomp, stomp

Wherein Niklas Enjoys Some Cricket.

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  • 2008-08-01: So it's Cup Match here in Bermuda which means that nobody has to work on account of how there's a big cricket match. Also, people are camping on every inch of available outdoor space. Also, there's drinking. Niklas and I celebrated today by watching some baseball (it's very similar to cricket, but there are literally hundreds of fewer runs scored) and hiding under the sheet on the bed. Also, the drinking. Although Niklas does like to pirate it up, in the interests of responsibility, the rum swizzle I made for him was remarkably rum free. Tasty, though.

    The Niklas Swizzle
    4 ounces of orange juice
    2 ounces of pineapple juice
    1 ounce of pomegranate juice

    If you're older than two or so, you can replace the pomegranate juice with grenadine and add 4 ounces of rum. Be careful, though. If Niklas's behavior is any indication, you'll wet your pants.
    2008-08-03: By now, it should be news to no one that Niklas is a cookie connoisseur of the highest caliber. In case there was any doubt, however, I offer you this story. So yesterday, Andrya decided to take a break from her four day weekend of work and make some cookies. Niklas is always her sous chef in the cookie making. "Sous chef!" says Niklas, but I'm sure he spells it wrong. Anyway, his primary duty is to sit in his highchair holding the bags of chocolate chips until Andrya needs them. This is no mere busywork, as if someone is not dedicated to holding the chocolate chips, somebody might eat all of them before they make their way into the cookies. I'm still trying to solve the mystery of who that is. So, once the first batch of cookies made it into the over, Niklas started saying "cookies!" excitedly. Once they came out of the oven, his excitement increased to "Jay hears rumours of new Clutch album" levels. When Andrya put the cookies on the cooling rack, though, his face kind of did this:



    Then, as he stared forlornly at the cookies, his lower lip started to tremble. Then came the wailing. Then, the super-wailing. Oh, the cries of Niklas forced to watch cookies cool surpass the great lamentations of history. He got over it, though.


    2008-08-06: Niklas has been all about the indoors lately. He apparently doesn't care for humidity. I would think that a trip to the pool would be just what he's looking for, but as is per usual, that is my mistake. Please enjoy this one act play which demonstrates as such.

    Me: Niklas, do you want to go to the pool?
    Niklas: No.
    Me: Are you sure? Do you want to put on your Nemo diaper?
    Niklas: No.
    (Niklas dumps a big bin of balls on the floor)

    Riveting, eh? Anyway, in lieu of swimming, we went to the Underwater Exploratorium today (it's air conditioned). Niklas had a fine time, particularly with the liquid filled globe that they have to demonstrate what happens to a liquid filled globe when you spin it. It turns out that the same thing happens in the twentieth minute of spinning as the first. Thanks to Niklas, I now have first hand knowledge of this.
    2008-08-10: It's been a low-key weekend as Niklas has continued to eschew the outdoors. There was a ton rain here (literally, maybe) the last few days, so the boy's aversion the Nemo diaper is just as well. We did make it to the zoo on Friday. I think Niklas prefers to zoo to just about anywhere else on earth, so his homebodiness doesn't really apply there. Today, he mostly played with an empty diaper box and pretended to sweep the floor (with the swiffer, not the box). Action packed!

    As I have received a severe berating today, here are some new pictures.
    2008-08-13: So lately, Niklas and I have been competing for the title of Grand Champion Walk/Ride Racer Of The Universe. Niklas uses a Fisher-Price Lion whilst I roll with a sweet custom dune buggy. The race course is fairly undefined, but it generally involves laps around the couch of varying radii with the occasional sojourn behind the dining room table or into the kitchen. Niklas takes the whole thing pretty seriously. "Go, go, go!" says Niklas. As there is no set course, there is no proper finish line. Rather, the race usually ends when I flip my buggy over, fall to the ground and yell "crash". Niklas loves the crashing. Once I'm on the ground, he'll stop, turn the lion upside down and jump on me, also yelling "crash". I guess that makes him the winner. Today, he took it one step further by involving Spider Man and Sketchy the monkey in a four person (or thereabouts) pile up that'll have ups all paying exorbitant insurance premiums.

    Speaking of busting things up, Niklas's love of climbing up the bookcase finally caught up with him today as he had a pretty spectacular lip-busting wipeout. Thankfully, Niklas laughs at his fat lip. Well, first he cried about it, but he got over it before the bleeding had even stopped.
    2008-08-14: So we get a lot of Canadian channels here in Bermuda. Canadian Subway (which is remarkably similar to American Subway except they cram a maple leaf in the logo somewhere) had ads that feature a monkey for some reason. As a lover of monkeys, Niklas is quite excited by these commercials. This is probably why he runs around all the time saying "eat fresh". I love that little shill.


    2008-08-19: Niklas's grandma Meeker was in town this past weekend. Niklas had a fabulous time showing her his favorite places, especially the zoo and the playground. I missed most of the fun do to a prior engagement off-island with gentlemen of some repute, but apparently a good time was had by all. For the last two days Niklas has been telling me all about grandmda, flamingos, fish and peacocks.

    Of course, now that grandma's gone, we're back to the status quo (except that Andrya is out of town for work). Inconveniently, the status quo of late has included Niklas having a bloody mouth. Today's culprit was the coffee table which apparently lept up off the floor and hit him in the chin causing him to bite his tongue pretty good. Other than the literal sense, he wasn't terribly busted up about the whole deal, so there's that.
    2008-08-22: So Wednesday, Niklas and I went to the Maritime Museum. We followed that up on Thursday with trips to the playground and the zoo. Here to tell you all about it is Niklas.

    Wednesday
    Poopy.
    Diaper.
    Dolphins? Sheep poop?
    Dolphins! Dolphins!
    Clock.
    No, Niklas.
    Go, go, go!
    Sheep poop! Sheep Poop!
    Bye, sheep!

    Thursday
    Fish! Fish! Fish!
    Wheel! Wheel! Wheel!
    Fish! Fish!
    Mingos.
    Turtle. Turtle messy. Messy turtle.
    Monkey.
    Peacock.
    Peacock poop! Daddy peacock poop! Ewww, messy. Messy boots.
    Cluck-Clucks? Fries?
    Cluck-Clucks! Fries!
    Hot.
    More milk!
    Thank you lunch, daddy.
    Mommy pick up? Pick up mommy. Pick up mommy.
    2008-08-25: Niklas is really into Sesame Street lately. The first thing he says in the morning is "Elmo, Ernie, Big Bird, Oscar, Cookie Monster." He knows the name of Elmo's fish (Dorothy) and the guy who lives behind Elmo's shade (Mr. Noodle). Also, he can now count to ten on his own, so that's cool. Thanks, Count.

    Here are some pictures we were able to take when Niklas wasn't admonishing Cookie Monster for being covered in "crumbies". "Crumbies! Vacuum! Crumbies! Vacuum!"
    2008-08-26: So apparently, Andrya has worked very hard to teach Niklas how to count despite my giving all the credit to a vampire puppet (not this one). Niklas regrets the error. The list of things regretted by Niklas would also have to include yesterday's full speed sprint into the (mostly open) door which from my vantage point went like this:

    1 - Niklas takes off
    2 - Niklas disappears from my view
    3 - umm... this:

    4 - Niklas bounces back into view, mysteriously unharmed
    5 - Lack of harm notwithstanding, the wailing begins

    Then we went for a walk where a good time was had by all except for when Niklas refused to either ride in his stroller or walk by himself and I had to carry him.
    2008-08-30: Niklas's quest to see how much punishment his face can take is still on track. Two days ago, he had a spectacular wipeout caused by his efforts to cut sharply while running over some magazines he had strewn about the floor. Luckily, his flashlight broke his fall. Did I say luckily? Well, that's wrong unless you consider face bruising to be lucky (I do not). Today, he fell headfirst off of the bed, but despite an impressive thunk, there was no visible damage.

    It hasn't been all cranial damage around these parts. Niklas went to a birthday party for James, our neighbor's grandson a few days ago. A fine time was had by all, what with the cake, some pinata action and the cake. Niklas likes cake. Cakey-cake cake. On the plus side (for me and Andrya, anyway), his crazy sugar high ran headfirst (figuratively, this time) into his lack of a nap and he went down to bed without the usual crazy sugar-induced pontification.

    Also, Niklas has developed a crush on Mr. Noodle's sister Miss Noodle. His enthusiastic fandom of Sesame Street has been knocked up a notch. Bam! Fortunately, his obsessions haven't kept him from doing a bunch of stuff that I managed to take pictures of. (Yeah, I'll end a sentence with a prepositional phrase.)